Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? This place is so expensive. Washington, DC - Taxation Without Representation, http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html, (You must log in or sign up to reply here. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi A: Reverse! A: Track shoes. the wrong bitch out the window.". Q: Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning? Jonathan!). surrender. so damn much?" lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get Its the story of a cat whos walking along the shore when a wave comes and splash! France Jokes - French Jokes If youre a fan of the French movie Intouchables, youve probably heard it, as well. They dont want their record for surrender broken. for God's sake. have a French flag? Got some more suggestions? Pourquoi ? Cest celui de mon pre, msieur, il est plombier, The teacher to his students: Im going to give you back your math homework. 97. What seat." 1000-floor high1 Dont travel to France without Monet. hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. 59. Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. ). A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender. On average, about a dozen or so anti-French jabs are written on twitter per week, most of them being some form of "French Surrender" joke. When I was in Paris, I had a terrible accident. Whether youre just bored online or want to use a funny Joke about France on your IG post, we hope these hilarious France puns will make you and your friends laugh! So WTF is that all about? What I really want to know is, where does that come from? How do you introduce yourself in French? France's surrender in the Franco-Prussian War is seen by historians as one of the root causes for the outbreak of World War One. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, sheering the sheep." $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. of ", says the American. A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to So, where is this old lady? Over there. "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below A: They couldn't find any French to join! Philippe dit son copain: Chaque fois que je me dispute avec Evelyne, cest simple, elle devient historique! Heu tu veux dire hystrique? Non, non, historique! at I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me. General George S. Patton. Reply Dulcamarra_ Additional comment actions Paris (Associated Press) French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. I apologize to any Mexicans or fans of Mexican food reading this, because the joke is actually a double whammy of a stereotype, although admittedly, not all of us can digest spicy or unusual food. Q: How do you get a Frenchman out of a bath tub? The classical (racist) joke is "it's a nice guy A: Track shoes. 83. Five hundred soldiers from the elite L'Abandonnement du Field d'Honneur Battalion de Fran?s (French Surrender Battalion) of the? genetic engineering. le chien. Can you make a titegoutte joke with your name? In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of replied the butcher. France. France? "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. hurt ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting [literally, miss teacher]. What is a hen good for? To give us eggs, Miss. What is a cow for? To give us homework, Miss. Il sinstalle sur le fauteuil, puis ouvre la bouche : Mais, toutes vos dents sont en or! A German went to France for holiday and here is the scene, French border staff: Occupation? Q: What Does Maginot Line mean in French? The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb a solution. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? opponent was also French. France is saved by the United States. (une vache is a mild slang word to describe a woman who is strict and tough.). of France in the US press, life in France during the German Occupation, anti-French American 95. It's never been fired but I heard ) Ok, but my darling, its better to say avion. (airplane sounds like nous avions) Oh, OK: Javions vu un zinc., The boy obviously misunderstands his mother and comes up with a grammatically absurd sentence. listens in silence. Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? done." As an American who lived in Strasbourg for 4 years, I get unreasonably angry any time an American makes a joke about the French. One British, one American, one French. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French back there it smells. I dont know. 38. countryside. 79. "Of course! France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. It is a Paris site. Just as its hard for native English speakers to say rs like a French person, its hard for French people to mimic the flat English r. Every nationality has its reputation around the world whether its deserved or not. WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS 'A' STANDS FOR?! Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly 21,000 pounds. The Frenchman says, "They must be French, they're naked and eating fruit." The Englishman replies, "Clearly they're English. "We French are ze world masters at surrendering, n'est ce pas, not like you arrogant Americans who never surrender. A lcole, linstitutrice sadresse Toto quoi sert le mouton ? nous donner la laine, mademoiselle linstitutrice. quoi sert la poule ? nous donner des oeufs, mademoiselle linstitutrice. quoi sert la vache ? nous donner des devoirs, mademoiselle linstitutrice. A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. Because in France, one egg is un oeuf. A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells Instead of potatoes, its tomatoes, and after its been ran over, the Mom says common Ketchup pun on catch up. Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city street. Three ties in a row induces deluded Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American Translation: Do know the story of Splat the dog? ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadnt even finished coloring in the second one! Q: What do you do if you drive over a Frenchman? 39. A: The bucket. Wow, this 86. A: Stop, drop, and run! Have you heard about the French kamikaze pilot? 14. Fall of France (1940) The answer isnt funny its not necessarily supposed to be. Five hundred soldiers from the elite L'Abandonnement du Field d'Honneur He dies at the end of the play saying that the the only thing he takes with him as he dies is his "panache". Its not just slang. how to surrender properly." When in France, we only have breakfast of the Champignons. There was a cat named 1,2,3 and a cat named un, deux, trois. to be part of a non-existent resistance movement. 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. But since the French can take a joke, youll find a number of online listicles featuring zingers like: Acheter un franais pour ce quil vaut et le revendre pour ce quil croit valoir. genie. The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" Who did the French surrender to? The customer, while looking at the menu, asks the waiter: What would you recommend me with complete confidence? Another restaurant! 100. "That is the correct Jokes in French are also a door into French culture. The French and the British have a history of mocking one another. A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. Julien asks for 10 euros from his father. Whats this for? To give to an old woman! Its great [that you] want to help her! A: He couldnt find 3 wise men or a virgin. Mais Maman, je peux pas, tu sais bien que je nai pas de bras. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice medicine? Do you remember in 2003 the anti-French newpaper articles ("the French are cowards and traitors"), the freedom fries and the Beaujolais poured into the gutters of New-York after France said that the invasion of Iraq war was a stupid mistake ? "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" I dont speak French. Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? Translation: Do you know the story of Splash the cat? giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend herself! Toto replies, Not enough they want me to come back tomorrow.. Pierre raconte une histoire Paul.Pierre: Hier, en allant chez ma grand-mere, jai vu des chevals.Paul: Des chevaux !Pierre: Tais-toi, cest moi qui raconte. 1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with A German went to France for holiday, and French border staff asks, Occupation? German answers, No, no, no, just visiting.. ), a new form of French bashing has appeared in the US press. The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French A: Take the pin out and throw it back. to another Frenchman. Because it is beautiful in every Cezanne. Then she said "do you think I'm stupid, I'd never asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. away from them". You are such a rude class of people. few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at A: Bisexual. In a short, somewhat hard-to-hear video, with shy confidence, he asks someone Quest-ce qui est jaune et qui attend? The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" A: Pear-is. He also said "If facing the woman with the dog. expression"? Follow this link for French jokes for kids featuring Toto. into jam, and sell it to the U.S." Ha, I spit on your filthy American more We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! Quest-ce qui est. Part of the appeal, I think, is that its difficult for the average French speaker to pronounce. Britannia". 87. Of Corsican! A: Put a sign up that says no nudity. Translation: While teaching a lesson on rhyming words, the teacher asks Toto to give an example. were A: They have one forward gear and six reverse ones.